6 months out of my degree (yes, as an English student, I finished in April – don’t hate me for it, we all know English is the best subject…), I know I'll be an English Lit enthusiast to infinity and beyond. I'm massively grieving those “lost-in-the-library” moments (this time last year I was basically BFFs with Virginia Woolf, I spent that much time chilling in her section) and still paying the price for continually breaking my back with a rucksack full of hardbacks, but I miss it. No, really, I genuinely do miss it. I’m feeling nostalgic for all those English student quirks that featured heavily in the best three years of my life: for the charms and the weirdness, the days in Queen’s and JSTOR galore…gosh, dare I say it, I’m even reminiscing about good old MLA…ish, maybe, well, it was a taxing relationship, but we saw each other at our worst, and the cooling-off period is making me sentimental!

In my book-loving, essay-writing, takeaway-tea-carrying days, here are a few things I came to realise as an English student...

1. You may become somewhat attached to a hefty guy named Norton. Keep him sweet, his criticism and theories will see you through your degree and he’ll be lingering long into “adult life”.

2.  It is inevitable that you will become the essay-checker, grammar-corrector and essentially, the walking dictionary, of your house (unless you are a house of English Lit students, in which case, you won’t actually be able to communicate with one another all that easily, because you’re house will resemble a slightly unorganised library). Embrace, and factor in to deadline time.

3. Room-choosing will be based largely on the size of the book case. Nothing is more annoying (or disheartening, or frankly unacceptable) than a pile of books that topples every time you move. No, the foot is down, a decent bookcase is no longer a matter of choice, but necessity. You wouldn’t neglect a pet/child, and the books are no different (just slightly more numerous).

4. Browsing bookstores and looking at all those lovely books that aren’t on your reading lists will firstly be a motivating factor, and later become an act of pure torture.

5. Post is a regular thing. Amazon is a close friend. Hello books. You will look popular (but in reality, your bank balance tells the true story and the only conversation you are involved in is that of the characters in the two books you’re desperately trying to get through before tomorrow’s seminar). Oh the commitments.

6. Yes, you’d better have a jolly spiffing memory, because, young one, days of reading chronologically, one book at a time – oh the horror of having more than a solo narrative in your life – are, indeed behind us now. Mourn their loss, but please don’t linger, time is a ticking.

7. And while we’re on that, pre-1800 and post-1800 co-reading is a new experience all together. Trust me, you may think you have Shakey down to a T, and all is hunky dory…now add in Beckett’s ultra Post-Modernist approach and tell me your brain is still registering the English language as we know it…

8. Reading for pleasure? Ha. Ha. Ha. Hahahahahahahah. (That is the bitter laugh of a Lit student.) You may think you LOVE reading. You may think you are a speedy reader. You may now wish to reconsider: your love of reading is simply not vast enough and your speed of reading will, quite simply, never quite make the cut.

9.“Coffee cups and well-dressed (English students don't tend to be seen in trackies..and if they are, it's probably a sign of a late night/early morning book reading sesh)…and basically paying out for an extensive library card.” This, my dear book-lovers and word-dedicators, is the means by which your peers will describe your degree. Resist attacking them with Ulysses and remember, “tho she be but little, she be fierce”. The dark-room inhabiting English student, misty eyed from dusty pages and armed with old English, is indeed a fierce creature.

10. The English student often possesses hermit-like tendencies, and thus the prospect of group work can often fill these solitary specimens with deep-rooted anxiety. The only thing worse than being chained to your own reading speed, is being chained to multiple others and theirs.

11. You will indeed become a fan of coffee/tea…basically anything that you can use as an incentive to finish that blasted chapter and take a “break”. Even loo breaks become exciting.

12. Quite often, you will find yourself discussing drag.

13. And, anything and everything is a text. Everything and anything. 

14. And, largely because of that, you can write your dissertation on anything. Absolutely anything. Or maybe even nothing... 

15. And New Historicism involves Shakey’s hair.

16. And yes, you are now on nickname terms with the chaps you spend much of your time studying…it’s only a natural means of progression.

17. You can write a whole essay on things that aren’t present, aren’t said, aren’t done, and actually never even happened.

18. But my god, you’d better be able to justify why you’ve done it.

19. And if you don’t quote, did you even read??

20. Your life goal will be to have a bookcase big enough to safely and comfortably house the books you’ve dedicated your life to.

21. And, you’ll believe in happy endings, and be somewhat caught up in the romantic notion of life – pondering and big questions are part of the parcel! It's a bitter-sweet love I'm afraid! 

And finally? Well, if you’re going to study English, then you really should do it at what is, quite simply, “probably the best university in the word”: Exeter I miss you more than words can say!