“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!”

Dear Me of Christmas Past,

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”

You always have had a love of Christmas…and you’ll cling to it. Growing up doesn’t mean you’ll stop believing and promise me you won’t let anyone tell you any different. Life is full of people who will try to dampen your spirit and dull your shine, and moments that will test your patience and love of life. They will tell you you're naive and that you've got your head in the clouds...we all need to escape the world sometimes and believing in good people is not naive. Be cautious, but be brave. Be wary, but don’t be sceptical. Believe. Always. Don’t forget when daddy bought you that giant polar bear that you carried through Bath in a black bag, and mummy’s face, on arriving home, was a mix of Christmas cheer and confusion. Remember how you’d write detailed and elaborate lists and letters that you’d send to The North Pole, of course. You’d spend days lying on your tummy on the lounge floor, circling the Argos catalogue. 

For the child who spent her life silently questioning and methodically fearing wrong answers, Christmas was one thing you never did question. Magic was just magic. Magic needed no explanation. For that, little me, I’ll be forever grateful. You knew that anything was possible, and I hope one day soon I’ll re-believe the belief that we held so tightly. You’re yet to know how far you’ll take Lottie Elephant – she’ll sit on 3 uni beds, and see 5 - almost 6 - different homes (by the time we're 21), and she’ll catch a fair few tears along the way. 

You never did open an advent door a day early (you always were a firm rule-follower)…however many people tell you to “live a little”, “break your own rules” and “rebel”, don’t. The rules will cost a lot of your time and energy throughout your teens and into your twenties…they’ll make you very unwell in the years that will follow…for that, I’m just sorry. But some rules are rules for a reason, and advent calendars need not be challenged. Learn to question and challenge and debate (little you, silent and shy, will one day win public speaking competitions…now there’s a curveball), but learn to question and challenge and debate the big things, the things that your generation will need to question and challenge and debate. The world is changing rapidly, politics will scare you, humankind will confuse you, you’ll fight to save the whales and fear your insignificance…you’ll be okay. Be brave and be kind – you will, because you aren’t very good at being selfish. And, I promise, you’ll find people who will acknowledge it and nurture you. Just please, please, for now at least, promise me you’ll eat ALL the Strawberry Delights in the Quality Street tin. And keep demanding red cabbage...life’s too short not to have the red cabbage at Christmas! 

When Daddy buys his Barbour one cold Christmas Eve, you’ll think it’s just a coat; years and years down the line you’re going to be living the dream at the University of Exeter and Barbours will be the latest Beanie Baby, the new Jane Norman bag, the Hollister hoody… You’ll learn to love green tea, hot drinks won’t forever make you uneasy out of fear of burnt tongues! 

Keep reading. It might not be “cool”, but little Yas, you aren’t ever going to be “cool”. And that’s okay. "Cool" is 100% overrated. Don’t let the world change you. Keep reading. It’ll take you far and wide. It’ll provide open arms and open doors. You’ll make a degree out of it, and you’ll love every single second – you’ll spend 3 years reading and reading and reading. And you’ll still keep reading. And, without doubt, even buried under deadlines, you’ll be 120% sure that, in keeping reading, you made the best decision you could have made. 

Refuse to EVER give up your stocking. You are NOT too old. Age is just a number…and, again I’m sorry, but you’ll spend enough time stressing over numbers. Christmas Day breakfast will be your domain. Cling to it. You and Jake will always argue over the Christmas tree in one way or another. It’s not ideal. Try to tolerate him. He’s the only brother you’ll ever have, and, trust me, you’ll spend your life cooking for him, defending him, ordering his school shoes, holding him, being his big sister, rolling your eyes at him and tidying up behind him. Let him put Stitch on the bloody tree…even if it doesn’t fit with the other decorations. 

Take care little me.

You’re braver than you believe.

And remember, tradition is, and always will be, tradition.